If we were all honest we would have to all admit that we are not honest. How's that for a statement? We've been taught to wear masks, hide problems and leave good impressions. We believe that by faking it we are actually protecting ourselves. So what do we do? We lie. We deceive. We mislead. We conceal.
We hate to think that someone would lie to us. We hate being misled, yet we do it all the time. "How are you today?" "I'm fine." No you're not. Your family s falling apart. Your about to be laid off. Your parents are failing. You've got health problems. YOU ARE NOT FINE. Now let me say that we don't need to inundate strangers with our problems when the give us a greeting, but, when a friend asks, tell the truth. Only then can we get the comfort and support we need and only then will they feel like they can get the same from us.
Our SEEKING HIM study talks about three types of honesty: Honesty with God, honesty with others and honesty with ourselves.
- Honesty with God is really the easiest. He knows it all anyway. In being honest with God the real challenge is being specific with Him. Don't just confess that you're sinful; confess specific sins. Be honest about your specific needs. don't let these things pile up for weeks but talk to Him often so that you may be specific. Also, don't feel like you can't be honest about your feelings too. Biblical heroes had times of doubt, worry and fear. Confess them so that He might help you with them. Lying to God leads to distance from God...the opposite of SEEKING HIM.
- Honesty with others is not so easy. There is balance here. There is a proper privacy and modesty in relationships but we tend to carry this too far. Especially as proud, independent, self-sufficient Americans. Hiding things from those we love causes barriers in our relationships. It takes tremendous energy and concentration to not let the truth slip out. It caused us to be fake and to have fake relationships. Honesty lets down barriers. It makes room for grace and leads to improved relationships and deeper love. If you have wronged someone, admit it. If you have been wearing a mask, take it down. The real you is the one God made and the one others will love better.
- Honesty with ourselves is really rough. We go to great lengths to convince ourselves that we are OK when we are really not. We need grace, mercy and forgiveness. We are not perfect and will never be in this world. We all have faults and shortcomings and to admit them to ourselves only helps us to improve them. If I had cancer, covering it up and trying to convince myself that I didn't have it would not cure it. Only by being honest with myself can I begin to treat my illness and perhaps save my life. We must be honest with ourselves and ready to admit to ourselves that we have problems.
One more thing must be mentioned. In order to foster an atmosphere of honesty, we must create a safe environment for honesty. If we pounce all over those who tel us the truth, then we are stifling honesty. If we gossip or meditate on other's failures then we are hampering the truth. In our home, we have made it much safer for our children to tell us the truth about something they did wrong rather than trying to cover it up. Confessing a wrong in our home minimizes the consequences and quickens the restoration. That's exactly how it is with God. Being honest with Him quickens restoration and reduces the suffering. That's how it should be with Christians. Let's create an atmosphere for honesty and let's be honest. Revival depends on it.
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